Surrender

I just came back from here ,an acquaintance from college, Angel is an awesome person and sometimes I don't think she actually realizes how awesome she really is! Just like many of us, she is just trying to do what God has called her to do and in the meantime she is sharing it with all of us, and for that I am very thankful!

Every morning I log on to this computer, check my email accounts and then quickly browse through many of the blogs on my sidebar. (of which later I will be adding Wendi...another UMHB Alumni!) Anyway, they are in alphabetical order, so as you can see, Angel is # 2 at this moment in my "blog life". So, as I started to "scan" her blog this morning I got stuck!!! (once you start reading her blog you will understand what I mean....sometimes you can't just "scan" it!)

First of all, she is adopting a sweet baby girl from China. You can read all about that on her blog. So, the first post I saw this morning was one in which she was showing all the stuff she was packing up for her upcoming trip to go get this precious baby girl. Then I started scanning the next few posts and since I , for some reason, can't view video's here at work, I just scanned over them until I came to this one, and this is where I got stuck!!

I am not currently reading the book she mentions here but the title of the book is Dangerous Surrender by Kay Warren. It sounds like an EXCELLENT book and I hope to read it soon.

I STRONGLY encourage you to read HER post about the chapter she just read and what she got out of it. I am not going to even try to restate everything she had to say, but I did want to share with you what I got out of it as I read her post.

My "red pill" moment came a couple years back when I decided that the experiences I had growing up (the rape and self-abusive behaviors, the "yoyo divorce" my parents had, the addictions my dad faces still today, and every thing else....which was a lot) would help me to minister to young girls. However, giving up my "dime store pearls" for the real thing and allowing God to use the "cheap" stuff in my life to bless others has not been easy. It never is, for most of us anyway. I still keep finding myself with that red pill in my hand ready to swallow, but getting a bit choked on it!

Ok, I said I wasn't going to do this, but I just had to add this quote in here right now! It was taken from Kay's book:

After a month of anguished wrestling with God, I reached a point at which I had to make a conscious decision. Would I retreat to my comfortable life and to my settled plans, pretending I didn't know about the HIV/AIDS pandemic and the millions of orphans? Or would I surrender to God's call and let my heart engage with a cause I was pretty sure would include buckets of pain and sorrow? I didn't know what would happen if I said yes to this increasingly strong urge to engage- what did "engaging" even mean? I felt like I was standing on the edge of a giant precipice; I couldn't go back, and yet the way forward looked like stepping into a void.

The moment of decision came. With eyes closed and teeth clenched tightly, I finally said yes. The second I did my heart broke, and I was SHATTERED.....

I bolded the part that really hit me. If I am truly ready to take that red pill, then I am about to step into a world that will "include buckets of pain and sorrow". OUCH!! I sit here shaking my head, letting out heavy sighs, with a wrinkled brow, knot in stomach and huge lump in my throat as I reread and type!

I feel that there are SO many girls out there that are suffering. They either grow up in homes where the family is all "together" and everyone pretends that "all is well" (I say pretends because we all know that there is NOT one perfect family out there!). Or they grow up in a home where no one is there for them and they feel all alone. They all want to reach out to someone but feel as if there is no one for them to reach.

My family may have been a little "messed up" at times, but I know they loved me. Many of these girls feel that same way, but many of them don't even get to feel the love. My heart aches for those girls. Those are the ones that society "uses". They get beaten down from all angles. They beat themselves up while others are doing the same. They end up pregnant or in loveless relationships. They are the ones pretending all is well, but falling apart inside. She might be the girl sitting next to you at church, bathed, well dressed, singing in the church choir and active in every ministry you offer. OR she may be the girl that you see at the mall that you avoid eye contact with because you aren't too sure about her. You don't know if she is dressed the way she is because she belongs to some "cult" or because she is "working" the streets, or because she doesn't' have anything better to wear.

Either way, she is a girl. She longs to be loved, accepted, acknowledged, forgiven, at peace....and the list could go on and on and on.

I think people avoid such topics....disturbing ones....because they are afraid that God would have them do something about it! That is why I LOVE this quote that I found on Wendi's blog. She has it posted right under the title of her blog. What an awesome quote. I think it says it all!

"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it..., but I'm afraid God might ask me the same question."

~ Anonymous

Chew on that for a while!


Once again.....heavy sighs, knot in stomach, wrinkled brow, lump in throat and head shaking!


What do you think God wants YOU to do?