Wow, what a week this has been for me. There has been so much going on with the kids and I have allowed my self to get to the end of my rope. (not a place I like to go often) Let me see where I can start......
Okay, Friday I left town around 2 pm. I talked to the kids that morning, and when I dropped them off at the daycare I reminded them that Daddy would be picking them up and that I would not be home until bed time on Saturday. We all had our hugs and kisses, and more hugs and kisses, and then they both went into their rooms and all seemed peaceful.....until.....
Around 10 that morning I got a call from the daycare. They told me that they had already called Carlton and had him talk to Rachel, but that she was still acting out....pushing, hitting, refusing to do anything the teachers asked..... SO I talked to her on the phone for a few minutes and thought it was over. But I was wrong.
About 30 minutes later, the daycare called Carlton again and he had to go to the daycare to talk to Rachel. He ended up taking her outside to spank her. They told him when he picked her up that afternoon that she had done much better after he left that morning. BUT.....Timothy's teacher told him that she needed to talk to him......
She pulled him aside and told him that she knew he had a rough day with Rachel and she really hated to have to tell him this, but that Timothy had pulled down his pants in class and everyone saw his......well.....you know.....
OH MY GOSH!!!!!! I couldn't believe it........when it happens to someone else, you almost giggle inside, because you think "OH MY, I hope my kid never does that!" But it was my kid! Carlton was horrified and so was this sweet young teacher. (Later she told me that she was so embarrassed to have to tell the minister that his son was exposing himself!")
So, Carlton took him home and they had a "chat" about all that, and HOPEFULLY that will never be an issue again. And I decided that maybe it was time that I STOP bathing the kids together!
The rest of the weekend went okay, but then Monday rolled around! Many of you have read in past posts about the issues we have had with Rachel and her behaviors. Well, they have started up again! From Monday to Wednesday she had kicked, pulled hair, bitten, refused to join the group, refused to walk from one place to another, refused to take a nap, told her teachers "no" and one day would not keep her dress down. And all of the things mentioned have happened EVERY day, not just a little on this day and some of it on the next day!
When I try to talk to her and ask her why she is doing these things, all she says is "I don't know!" or "Because" but never follow that because up with a reason. Sometimes her responses are so random. For instance, she was talking about how she and another kid were playing and how another kid got in her way, then she went started talking about my hair! When I tried to redirect her it didn't work.... In some ways I think it was because she knew what she did was wrong and the story was coming to that part and she didn't want to talk about it.....but I don't know!
I am once again at my wits end with her and all this. I know she is just 3 1/2 and that SOME of the behavior are "normal", but to me they seem a bit extreme. I don't know if I feel that way because I teach Special Ed, or what, but honestly I am about ready to refer her for some behavioral screening. I told Carlton I would wait until she was closer to 4 to see if this would "die down" but honestly, I don't know!
Give me your opinions. What would you do?
****UPDATE**** Carlton just called me and today already, before 11 am, Rachel had kicked another kid in the face!!! LORD help me!!!!
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3 comments:
Gosh Ang, I'm sure it's really hard to correct the behavior because she doesn't have the opportunities to do it at home like she does at school. That makes it really difficult.
My SIL uses little balls in a clear cookie jar that she and Jessica decorated. When Rachel goes a day without getting in trouble she gets to put a ball in the jar. When she gets in trouble she has to take one out. Then when she gets so many balls in the jar she can do whatever it is that y'all decided upon when you started, like getting something special from the toy store or going to her favorite place, etc...
Sarah did this...tell her that if she goes 2 days without getting in trouble that you'll do X (something she really likes). Once she reaches that goal make another one, but maybe tell her she has to go 3 days. And when she gets in trouble you're going to do X (like no playtime in the tub that night, just bathe her and get her out---if she likes play time in the tub, or she doesn't get to watch tv at night, or she doesn't get dessert with dinner, etc.) Sarah had some issues with Emily at day care for a while, and it ended up being that she just didn't like one of her teachers. They didn't click, and Emily had to be taught that it didn't matter if she liked them or not she still had to listen and follow their directions.
Feel free to shoot my ideas down. They have worked for Sarah and my SIL, but they might not work with Rachel. Every child is different.
Oh My Goodness! I am still at the stage of "My kid won't do that"...but I know I'll be on the other side before I know it. I'll be calling for help from you when that time comes. Hopefully your kids will be past that! Yikes!
Oh My Goodness! I am still at the stage of "My kid won't do that"...but I know I'll be on the other side before I know it. I'll be calling for help from you when that time comes. Hopefully your kids will be past that! Yikes!
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