"Lord I Want To Be Whole" - INTRO - pt1

Ok, here we go. Let me start off by saying this....I have to be honest and say that I do not know all the correct ways to "show" credit where credit is due when it comes to the blog world. SO here is what I will do during this study since it is not something that originated from my brain.

Any time there is something that is in italics then that is something that is said directly from Stormie's book, "Lord I Want To Be Whole" or from the workbook that goes along with this book. Anything else that I might grab from I will do so online and will link to that information. How about that?

All that said, here we go!

Yesterday I mentioned to you what Stormie's definition of emotional health was.
"having total peace about who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going, both individually and in relationship to those around you. In other words, it's feeling totally at peace about the pst, present, and future of you life. It's knowing that you're inline with God's ultimate purpose for you and being fulfilled in that."

In the workbook there are some questions in reference to this definition. I will list them and my answers may or may not be there...depends on whether or not it is just too personal.

1. List the moments in your past that give you peace and well-being when remembering them. My wedding day, sitting on Mema's couch while she rubbed my hand, the birth of my children, the day I went to college, when I first started going to church with Momma, hearing Grammy tell me that she DID know the Lord just before she passed away
2. Think about the moments that make you feel uneasy and agitated. List those moments. memories of Dad and my uncles fighting, memories of the rape and molestation and everything that surrounded them, all the lies, Mom and Dad's 1st divorce, memories of certain people, other's struggles with certain addictions, my own struggle with a self-abusive behavior
3. Look at your present. List the moments that give you a feeling of peace and well-being. hugging my children, being at church, watching my husband and children play, blogging, moments when I can be myself, when I, with the help of the Lord, overcome the urge to self-destruct
4. Look at the moments in the present that make you feel agitated and uneasy. List those moments. Making our house payment (the cost of living is much higher here than it was where we came from and our house payment makes me nauseous) when I make mistakes or forget things, when certain people are around Carlton, differing opinions on discipline at times, having not spoke to Dad since he and Mom split (back in September)
5. Think about the future. What events in the future might make you happy and at peace? List them. getting out of debt, watching the kids succeed, watching the kids come to know Christ, turning my home into that Santuary that has been mentioned in times past, having a home that is warm and inviting, getting Rachel potty trained, knowing that I CAN and WILL find peace
6. What events in the future might make you afraid and uneasy? List them. making another mistake in the checking like I made a few weeks back, looking ahead to the day that Dad and I finally talk about him and the drugs/alcohol, the overall thought of failure at something

Looking at the lists above, note the two most important events (the ones that make you feel the most uneasy and afraid) in the past, present, and future that you need to deal with as you go through this study and list them.


Wow....that was a lot for me. It took some time and some major honesty to write some of that down and there was still a thing or two that I just couldn't write on here. You can email me if you would like and I might share, but I just couldn't post it just yet! I'll make my list of the two most important from the past, present, and future for ME to look at since one or two of those things might be from what I didn't post here. You do the same.

After looking through the workbook I decided to split this introduction inot two parts. They both took some time when it came down to answering the questions she poses. And if you are as "emotionally messed up" (you notice I didn't say disturbed!) as I feel I am, then it might take you some time to sort too!

You don't have to post a comment that has all this information listed...you can do one of many things....journal it privately, blog it and then leave a comment letting me know so I can stop by, send me an email with it all IF you wish to share...or just simply leave a comment letting me know what you are getting out of all this so far. Just don't leave me hangin'. :)

The next part will define those 7 steps to Emotional Health that I mentioned in here. We will define each of those a little then do a little more reflecting on who we are as individuals.


Look up these verses in the meantime: Proverbs 16:1, Jeremiah 30:17a, Psalm 38:8, Psalm 23:3


I will be out of school for Thanksgiving break for a week, therefore, I will not be online! So I hope you have a great Thanksgiving and I will post part 2 of the introduction when I get back.

** I am going to try to figure out how to list my labels on the sidebar so that if you only come for this study, you can go straight to them without sifting through evererything else.

Happy Healing!

"Lord, I Want To Be Whole"

Have any of you done this Bible study? It's called "Lord, I Want To Be Whole" and it is written by Stormie Omartian, the author of all the "Power of a Praying______". I started this study some time ago, but got to a part that really took a lot out of me emotionally amd mentally and I just couldn't go on any further. Well, I think I am ready to go on now. Instead of picking up where I left off, I am going to start over. I want things to be fresh in my mind.

Here is what I am thinking about doing. As I go through this process I want to share it with you all so I will do a lot of my journaling here. There are some aspects that call for VERY personal redponses and depending on how I feel, or how the Lord leads, I may or may not post some of those personal responses. I don't know how to set up the "Mr. Linky" thing yet or anything, and quite frankly I don't have that much traffic coming through here either, but I will post some of the questions from the study and you can leave a comment when you feel led to do so.

This is a journey toward emotional healing for me. I hope that if this is something you need as well that you will join me. I don't know at what pace I will go, or how often a post will be related to this study yet, but I do know I feel led to share it somehow, so this is how I chose to share it for now.

Here is a little introduction to what will be discussed and hopefully learned!

Stormie wrote that her definition of emotional health was;
"having total peace about who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going, both individually and in relationship to those around you. In other words, it's feeling totally at peace about the pst, present, and future of you life. It's knowing that you're inline with God's ultimate purpose for you and being fulfilled in that."

This book also suggests 7 steps to emotional health:

1. Release the Past
2. Live in Obedience
3. Find Deliverance
4. Seek Total Restoration
5. Receive God's Gifts
6. Reject the Pitfalls
7. Stand Strong

I am going to take some time reviewing these seven steps tonight. Then tomorrow I will share a little description of each of them for you. I hope some of you, if you need it, will join me and not hesitate to comment.

Here's to emotional healing!

Works For Me Wednesday

Our network has been giving us fits today so I couldn't upload any pictures. I have been busy working on something for Associated Content and almost forgot to post something for WFMW. So here it is....HOMEMADE birthday cakes. I know....many of you are thinking...."what's your point" or "I do that all the time." Well, not me. Since my 1st child was born, I have always bought their birthday cakes from other places. This year my 3 year old declared that Mommy was making her cake. She told me that it should be pink and white and have sprinkles on it too. So I did. But I didn't make your ordinary sheet cake. I decided that since her party was at the park this year, that I would make a cupcake cake. This is what I did:



I mixed up 2 boxes of cake mix.



Placed 24 jumbo cupcake liners in the muffin pan.



Filled each liner about 3/4 full of cake mix.



Baked them at 350 degrees for about 18 minutes.



Allowed them to cool completely on wire racks. (I just placed the pans on the racks.)



Placed them on a piece of cardboard in the shape I wanted.



Covered and I mean covered, them in icing. (In my case it took 3 cans of Duncan Hines plain white icing) (Yes I said 3 cans!)



Used those premade bags of icing and decorator tips you can get at WalMart to decorate around the edges, and write on the cake.



Placed these My Little Pony toys around the edge of the cake.



And voila! This is what we got: ( I had to link here since I couldn't upload a pic! )

Head on over to Shannon's for more WFMW.

Menu Plan Monday

Well it is up a little late in the day as usual, but here goes the menu for the week:

Monday - Baked Cod with bread crumbs

Tuesday - Enchilada's (hubby's request)

Wednesday - Tacho's and Taco Salads

Thursday - Chicken Florentine

Friday - Parent's Night Out (Kids choice) which will probably be Hot Dogs or if Rachel stayed dry all week then it will be McDonald's!

Saturday - Baked Chicken Supreme


I don't usually put Saturday on the menu plan, but since we are having PNO and I had the extra meal I decided to throw it in anyway. I think I might start adding Sat. and Sun. again anyway. For me it just seems to keep it all constant.

Anyway...I have to actually grocery shop for this week today sometime, so I'll let you know if there are any edits to the plan, but there shouldn't be!

Head on over to The Organizing Junkie for more menu's.

Monday Minutes from the Weekend

What a busy weekend! Friday I went home, and although I really wanted hubby to take us to dinner since I had SO much to do, I decided that I had made a MENU and I was sticking to it!!! So I did! I cooked, the kids helped me clean and then we started the process of making Rachel's birthday cake.

She had been telling me for weeks that she wanted me to make her cake. She told me that she wanted a pink cake with sprinkles. I decided a couple of days ago that I would make a cupcake cake. We had one of these for Timothy's 3rd birthday and it was great. It was so easy. I didn't make his though...we got it from WalMart. But I decided I could do this, so I did, and this is how it turned out:

I did it!!!!! But I must tell you that I had a few moments when I didn't know if it would come together. About half way through icing this "piece of art" I had my very first migraine! It sent me to the emergency room. I felf as if my head was about to explode. We were there from 11:30 until 3:30 in the morning. All I could think about was that my little girl's cake wasn't finished and her party was scheduled to begin at 10:00! The doctor in the emergency room gave me some medicine for nesaua and 2 500mg of Vicodin. The Vicodin wired me! I could not rest. So when we got home, Carlton went to bed and I finished the cake! Then I finally crashed around 6:30. Timothy came wandering in around 7:30. So I guess I got about an hour of sleep. Then I was up and running non-stop until about 3:30 that afternoon when I finally crashed. I slept for about 3 hours, got up, made grilled cheese sandwhiches and soup, then crashed again for the evening.

Below are some more pictures from Rachel's party. It started raining toward the end, so you can see in the last picture (the one of her on the swing) she has mud on her arms and legs! It was too funny! She didn't care......she wanted to play!

This was taken while we were singing Happy Birthday to her....she was acting bashfull!

She finally got to eat her "Birthday"! (that is what she kept calling the cake)

Doesn't she look SO happy on that swing? Mud and all!

A Thankful Thursday

Well friends, we did it. We made it through a day at the daycare with panties on and stayed DRY!!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! AND the best thing of all was the answered prayer that came when I talked to her teacher. She apologized over and over about the incident that occurred the other day. She explained to me that she came from a previous job that everything was black and white, there were no grey areas. So when I was asking her to do something that is not in her normal routine she just thought I didn't know how things were "suppose" to go. She said that after talking to the director she came to the realization that she was trying to treat all these 2 and 3 year olds like little robots that should all work the same. She said that this little "issue" we had has helped her to realize that there are some grey areas and that those areas need to be addressed as well.

There was a lot more to the conversation, like; her concern that Rachel is sometimes going 4 or 5 hours before going to the potty, which is also a concern of mine, but as for the "issue" we had....we no longer have one!

Answered prayer!!!!

Distracted, ADHD, Non-multitasking Homemaker!

OK, I will finally admit that I am a very distracted, ADHD, non-multitasking homemaker! I will also admit that I have this longing in me to have that home that is somewhat put together the majority of time, however, I go home from working 8 hours and I cook, feed, bathe, put to bed, then plop in front of the TV to veg a while and that is just on a day when there is nothing else going on in our family. Most days I also TRY to get to the gym, we have ballet and church on Wednesdays, etc.

ANYWAY, since I have been doing this blogging thing I have come across some very Godly women that have, through their posts, inspired me. They have helped me to reprogram my brain as to what it means to be a homemaker. I will dedicate this post to what many of them have "shown" me lately. I WANT and DESIRE for my home to be a sanctuary. I want my family to feel that they have a place to come to that is warm and inviting. I want my friends (churched and nonchurched) to feel the presence of the Lord when they walk in my home. I want my home to be one of peace. These are all things we all want right? We CAN have that and I WILL!!!

This post will be full of links to some of those posts that I have been inspired by. I am still pretty new to blogging, so I am not sure how to give those "rewards" and things, but they all deserve one!

Here are a few things I am going to start doing to achieve this goal;

1. Pray: I know that this is the most obvious thing to do, but let's be honest. Those of us that have gotten into the rut I have gotten into, have not been praying enough for their family and home. I can be honest. As terrible as it sounds.....and as much as it hurts, I have not BATHED my family in prayer as I should.

2. Minimum Maintenance: This is a start for me to get that home back in shape. Rachel Anne and her sister Katherine have really inspired me in this area. I had been lurking their blogs for a while before I started posting comments. I know they are not perfect but they have some really great ideas.

3. Holding my 3 and 5 year old more accountable: Who says they can't be held accountable for keeping their toys put away, "making their bed", picking up their clothes, etc..... Starting some kind of chore chart/reward system for them.

4. Setting up Schedules: Menus for the week, this has been a lifesaver for the last 3 weeks that I have actually done it and somewhat stuck to it. It has also helped the budget a bit! Weekly schedules, there are many to choose from but these are the two I will start "organizing my life with; working mom's schedule and a color coded weekly schedule.

Well, I guess that is enough to start with for this distracted, ADHD, non-multitasking homemaker. My prayer is that eventually I can drop this title and make it new!

I may add more thoughts to this later, but for now, I think this is enough to digest!

Potty Training

Okay...now potty training my son was, believe it or not, the easiest thing I have ever done! The hubby was determined that Timothy would be out of diapers/pull ups before Rachel was born, so by the age of 2, yes I said 2, he was COMPLETELY potty trained!

Rachel has been another story. She is a VERY strong willed child and is determined to do ALL things on her own. It has taken me MONTHS to relay this message to the hubby. I know she does not have a physical problem that keeps her from being potty trained, it is simply a matter of "I will do it when I want and not when you tell me!" If I tell her to go, she will hold it for hours. This past Sunday she went 5 hours without going at all!!

The other day we ran out of pull ups. I have been putting her in panties off and on for the past 6 months or longer. We would run out of them and I would go a few days with out buying them and would insist that she wear panties. But this weekend when we ran out I decided I was not buying them anymore. She still sleeps in her toddler bed with the mattress from the crib, so it is waterproof and I decided that if she allowed me to put on the "plastic panties" over her other ones then I would, but if not I was not going to fight her any more.

At home we have only had 1 accident and that was at night. I do not tell her to go, but I gently remind her that she can tell me if she needs to go and needs help. The daycare has been another story. The teacher is SO set on keeping her schedule with all the kids and I can't say I blame her. But I have taken Rachel in panties and pick her up in a pull up. This morning I told her that I had put EXTRA clothes in the bag. Then I asked her if it would be possible to let Rachel tell her when she needs to go to the restroom, or to allow her to go on her own. (the potty is in the room) The teacher looked at me with her hands clasped and said, "Well you see, Rachel is not potty trained well enough yet for me to do that! There are others in here that can do that, but she can't!" The mother hen in me almost came out right then!!! I politely asked her a second time to do what I asked and she said, "Ok, that's fine but if she potties on herself I WILL put her in a pull up!" I bit my lip let out a heavy sigh and left!

After I left I called the director and discussed the issue with her. She agreed that as long as Rachel has an extra set of clothes that she should be allowed to wear the panties and said that she would discuss this with the teacher.

Here is where I need your help....do you think I handled this situation correctly? Do you think this teacher will be so upset with me that she will take it out on Rachel? How do I watch for signs of that? Do I talk to the teacher about it more? She is already frustrated with Rachel for the past. All that has gotten better, so I feel that the teacher is thinking she doesn't want to go that route. What do I do?

Head on over to Shannon's at Rocks in My Dryer for another addition of Backwards WFMW

Menu Plan Monday

Okay....last week went nothing like what I posted! (I'm sure that has NEVER happened to any of you!) We didn't go out or anything, we just had different meals. The hubby came in one day and wanted Frito Salad, so we had that, then he wanted it again on Saturday, so we had it again! Anyway, here is the PLAN for this week:

Monday: Campbell's Cheesy Chicken & Rice

Tuesday: Pork Chops, okra, corn

Wednesday: Church Meal or Sandwiches

Thursday: Smoked Sausage, creamed spinach, carrots

Friday: Easy Chicken Pot Pie

Ok...let's see how well we can stick to this one! OH...several people emailed me asking about the recipe for the taco soup...here it is. I use the milder Rotel and it is plenty hot for me, you might like it hotter. Choose your fire!

For more menu ideas head on over to The Organizing Junkie

Random Pictures Of The Kids

Ok....I haven't posted any pictures in a while so I thought I would do it now. These are pictures from our Fall Festival, the pumpkin we carved with the kids, Timothy's 5th birthday and a few of Rachel at baby ballet. I know it's a lot and it's kind of random, but if you know me, that's how I roll! :)

I don't know what is going on here with his eyes....he's been doing that a lot lately. Maybe I should get that looked at! Hmmmm....

This is the kid's (my) favorite book at "halloween" time.

Timothy's party was at ChuckECheese. Yes it was expensive, and yes it was "easy", but no, we will not do it again! The cost....enough said!

This was Timothy's attempt at dancing!

CHEESE!!!

WEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Now for my ballerina! No "in action" pictures, just smiling faces and poses! Her tutu still isn't in....it was ordered back in AUGUST!!! But she doesn't seem to care!