Sex and Dating!

Carlton has started a series titled "Sex and Dating". A very good one I might add. It is a video driven series that he got from Blue Fish TV. It was written by Hayley and Michael DiMarco. Here is the trailer for it.



I hope it comes up on your computer, because it doesn't on mine at work. But then again we have so many filters here.... If you couldn't watch it then go here

Anyway, it is a really good series. Last night we started with the first video lesson on Boundaries. Really the kids made many more comments than we expected them too, so it made it a lot easier for him to speak.

After the video he asked them some questions that related to the two teenagers in the video. Questions like, "Why do you think she couldn't leave him?", and "Why do you suppose he had so much control over her?", and "Do you think she really thought he was "the one" and they would get married one day?"

The responses to these questions hurt my heart. Girls would say things like, "She loved him. She thought they would one day get married. She thought he loved her. He became a habit for her." And the guys had comments like, "She let him control her. She let him take her away from her friends. She didn't tell him "No."

Did you notice what I noticed???? All their responses started with SHE. To that, I ask, "What?" Why is it that SHE have to be the one that says no? Where was the responsibility on HIS part?

I will tell you that my hubby also heard that reoccuring word too and he made it a point to tell them that he heard it. Then he told them, "IT TAKES TWO" Not just two to "get it done" but two to "keep it from happening!"

Sure there are the giggles, pointing, cutting of eyes and red faces, but those that commented when he asked questions really suprised me. Most of their answers were right on! Most of the questions last night were not ones that really had a right or wrong answer either, so that made it a little easier for them to comment.

The main jist of last night was reminding students to set boundaries and to set them now! If they haven't started dating and even if they had. Set those boudaries and draw the line. Let whoever you are dating or will be dating know how you feel. Tell them where your boundaries are and dare them to even put a toe over the line.

It was really tough for a few kiddos to sit through the first video, and to listen to what Carlton had to say afterwards, because they have already had sex. It was obvious on some of their faces. Carlton made sure to tell them that there was no reason for hanging on to that guilt if they were ready to seek forgiveness and to start over. My heart really ached for them. I do hope they open up and talk about it, if not in front of everyone (who most already know) then I hope they pull one of us adults aside to chat.

I was very proud of my man for some of the things he told them. He reminded them all that God wired girls with very sensitive hearts. Hearts that need to be protected. Hearts that belong to God. He reminded them that girls are emotional beings. He told them that once a girl has sex with a guy she becomes so emotionally attached to him that it is almost impossible for her to ever forget about him. Then he told them that God made her that way for the purpose of keeping that bond in marriage.

He told the guys that they are to treat girls with the respect that they deserve. He reminded them that he was once a "young man" and that he KNOWS the thoughts they have and the feelings they get.

Then he asked them this...."Tell me something, what is a guy that sleeps around with a lot of girls called....."
PLAYER ................... PIMP .................. THE MAN ............ those were just a couple of the names that they all threw out. All names that in our culture today are "positive". Then he said this while shaking his head in agreement, "Okay, okay, now tell me what is a girl called that sleeps around with a lot of guys....."
HO ........... SLUT ........... SKANK .......... again, just a few that I could remember. But those were all words that are negative, that tear down their character. Then he asked them....

"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE?????" Then he went on to say that what is wrong for one should be wrong for the other! He reminded the guys toward the end that every girl they date is someone's future wife and that furthermore, their future wife might be on a date right now. Then he asked them, "How would you want your future wife to be treated?" I wish you could have seen the look on some of their faces.

This started last night as a 4 week series, however, since he already had to break the first week into 2 weeks, I think it might take a little longer than he expected!

Please pray for him and all us other adults that will be interacting with these kids.