Sex and Dating!

Carlton has started a series titled "Sex and Dating". A very good one I might add. It is a video driven series that he got from Blue Fish TV. It was written by Hayley and Michael DiMarco. Here is the trailer for it.



I hope it comes up on your computer, because it doesn't on mine at work. But then again we have so many filters here.... If you couldn't watch it then go here

Anyway, it is a really good series. Last night we started with the first video lesson on Boundaries. Really the kids made many more comments than we expected them too, so it made it a lot easier for him to speak.

After the video he asked them some questions that related to the two teenagers in the video. Questions like, "Why do you think she couldn't leave him?", and "Why do you suppose he had so much control over her?", and "Do you think she really thought he was "the one" and they would get married one day?"

The responses to these questions hurt my heart. Girls would say things like, "She loved him. She thought they would one day get married. She thought he loved her. He became a habit for her." And the guys had comments like, "She let him control her. She let him take her away from her friends. She didn't tell him "No."

Did you notice what I noticed???? All their responses started with SHE. To that, I ask, "What?" Why is it that SHE have to be the one that says no? Where was the responsibility on HIS part?

I will tell you that my hubby also heard that reoccuring word too and he made it a point to tell them that he heard it. Then he told them, "IT TAKES TWO" Not just two to "get it done" but two to "keep it from happening!"

Sure there are the giggles, pointing, cutting of eyes and red faces, but those that commented when he asked questions really suprised me. Most of their answers were right on! Most of the questions last night were not ones that really had a right or wrong answer either, so that made it a little easier for them to comment.

The main jist of last night was reminding students to set boundaries and to set them now! If they haven't started dating and even if they had. Set those boudaries and draw the line. Let whoever you are dating or will be dating know how you feel. Tell them where your boundaries are and dare them to even put a toe over the line.

It was really tough for a few kiddos to sit through the first video, and to listen to what Carlton had to say afterwards, because they have already had sex. It was obvious on some of their faces. Carlton made sure to tell them that there was no reason for hanging on to that guilt if they were ready to seek forgiveness and to start over. My heart really ached for them. I do hope they open up and talk about it, if not in front of everyone (who most already know) then I hope they pull one of us adults aside to chat.

I was very proud of my man for some of the things he told them. He reminded them all that God wired girls with very sensitive hearts. Hearts that need to be protected. Hearts that belong to God. He reminded them that girls are emotional beings. He told them that once a girl has sex with a guy she becomes so emotionally attached to him that it is almost impossible for her to ever forget about him. Then he told them that God made her that way for the purpose of keeping that bond in marriage.

He told the guys that they are to treat girls with the respect that they deserve. He reminded them that he was once a "young man" and that he KNOWS the thoughts they have and the feelings they get.

Then he asked them this...."Tell me something, what is a guy that sleeps around with a lot of girls called....."
PLAYER ................... PIMP .................. THE MAN ............ those were just a couple of the names that they all threw out. All names that in our culture today are "positive". Then he said this while shaking his head in agreement, "Okay, okay, now tell me what is a girl called that sleeps around with a lot of guys....."
HO ........... SLUT ........... SKANK .......... again, just a few that I could remember. But those were all words that are negative, that tear down their character. Then he asked them....

"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE?????" Then he went on to say that what is wrong for one should be wrong for the other! He reminded the guys toward the end that every girl they date is someone's future wife and that furthermore, their future wife might be on a date right now. Then he asked them, "How would you want your future wife to be treated?" I wish you could have seen the look on some of their faces.

This started last night as a 4 week series, however, since he already had to break the first week into 2 weeks, I think it might take a little longer than he expected!

Please pray for him and all us other adults that will be interacting with these kids.

Menu Plan Monday

Wow, it has been a long time since I participated in Menu Plan Monday. For more menu ideas go on over to Laura's at I'm An Organizing Junkie. There are right at 200 menus to choose from!!

Here is my plan for the week:

Monday - Baked Chicken Supreme, Shrek Rice (really just rice pilaf with lots of mushrooms but this is the name Daddy gave it so that Timothy would eat it!) Okra

Tuesday - Meat Loaf, Green Beans, Garrots

Wednesday - Church Dinner

Thursday - Fried Chicken Salads

Friday - Smoked Sausage, Creamed Spinach, Corn

Saturday - Taco Soup, Corn Bread

Sunday - Baked Potatoes with all the fixin's

Nothing But Nets

NO, I am not talking about basketball this time....this is something way more serious and important than basketball. (Just don't tell Carlton I said that. I mean, don't get me wrong, he supports the cause, but to him, there isn't much more important than basketball. (heehee!!))

These two girls from our youth group felt led to join this campaign that provides mosquito nets for various countries in Africa. You may have heard about the campaign, they are partnered with the NBA Cares program, the People of the United Methodist Church, Sports Illustrated and the United Nations Foundation just to name a few.

The girls set out on a mission with the goal of raising $5000 by Easter. They started selling snacks on Wednesday nights before Encounter to raise money and at first it seemed to be going pretty good. However, after talking to them last night, it seems as if it has kind of "died down" a bit.

Here is the link to the Nothing But Nets site. When you get to the site you can watch a short informational video. Malairia is the leading killer of children in Africa. These nets can help save the lives of those children and their families. One net costs $10 and can cover 4 people!

If you can donate $10 or more, just go here. It is the dontation site for the team these two created. They have had some donations, about $200, that is not reflected online yet. Please help them if you can!

Our Girls

Mother and child under their net.


A father haning their new net.

New Sites for Me!

Click here to create your own painting.

The picture above was created using a personality test of sorts. Go check it out. It's just for fun.

Also, there are some new buttons on my side bar. I added them today after surfing around some. There are also some new links on my list of blogs.

One of them is In Their Own Time. Another is Mocha With Linda I met her through Lisa at The Preacher's Wife of which yesterday was her 1 year Blogiversary! Another is Sue at Praise and Coffee she is responsible for both of my new buttons on the side..."Two Shall Become One Tuesdays" and "Praise and Coffee Monthly Giveaways". Natalie at Married to the Preacher, and her SIL The Crazy Kid Teacher are pretty new to blogging and been on the side bar for a few weeks now.

Go check them out!

A VERY Embarassing Moment!!!!

Ok, I choose to share this moment with you all because.........well.........because I just think you all need a good laugh from time to time.

On Sunday, after church, we decided to go to lunch with another couple and their children. The hubby and I got there first, so I rushed in to hold us a table. We have 4 and they (counting the two extra they are housing for the moment) have 7. So we ended up needing a table with a booth right across from it so that we could seat everyone. Hubby got in line to order our food and I grabbed the kids to go find a place to sit. This is one of those "seat yourself" kind of places and it looked very packed from the outside, so I knew we needed to snag something as soon as we could find it.

After just a couple seconds we found our spot. I put my two precious children in the booth then sat at the table directly across from them and waited for the others to show up when ALL OF A SUDDEN, I felt that all too familiar feeling we all get during "that time!" You see, "that time" had just ended, so I thought! I know my eyes got as big as watermelons because I was wearing WHITE pants and I was stuck at this table!!!!! However, a major embarrassment was about to occur if I didn't get up and head to the ladies room immediately! SO, I grabbed a necessary item from my purse, put it in my coat pocket and told the kids, "Mommy has to go to the bathroom NOW....Timothy, please watch my purse Mommy will be right back!" (YES I left my purse on the table...I had to hold our spot! besides there wasn't anything in it except for gum and my debit card that had to be canceled the day before, which is a whole other story) I knew they were in eyesight of Daddy and he could "watch them" so I felt okay (not completely safe, but okay) leaving them at the table.

As I got to the restroom door, I turned around to find Rachel standing directly behind me saying, "Mommy I gotta go potty too!" So I hurried her into the bathroom with me. There was a line!!!! As soon as a stall opened up we hurried in.

***NOTE*** I DID NOT want to have Rachel in the stall with me, I knew this could get ugly, but I COULD NOT/WOULD NOT let her stay in a bathroom and me not be able to watch her.....she still touches everything!!!

I quickly put her on the potty to hear her say and grin while doing so, "I don't weally need to doe teetee!" ****wanting to scream now**** Anyway, I asked her to move to the front of the stall so that I could go. (hoping she would do like always and try to look out the crack of the stall to the people waiting in line) BUT NOOOOO, she was determined to see what I was doing!!

All I had with me that day was a pad of which to her looked like a diaper (Can you see where this might be going??) Well, as soon as she saw it she said, "Oh mommy, what are you doin'? Why you need that diaper? You not a baby!"

I immediately heard laughter from the women waiting in line and from the one in the stall next to me! And of course I too had to laugh but at the same time was turning as red as red can get! As we came out of the stall Rachel was still talking about "the diaper" As I was trying to "hush" her, one of the other women said, "I know your pain, I had a similar situation a couple years ago!" I don't know if this was the truth or if this poor woman just felt my embarrassment and wanted to "help me feel better".

I do believe this ranks up there as one of my MOST embarrassing moments!

A valentines Day Treat

As promised....here are a few pictures from the concert. I did have to take them a little "illegally" but I got them. The information we had said "no flash photagraphy". I had every intention of turning off the flash. When I did, the lighting was okay, but the pictures were blurry. SO, I put the camera away, until.......toward the end of the concert (the last two songs). I couldn't resist it any longer.

"Everyone else had been taking pictures!" I know, before you start giving me the MOM lecture that contains the phrase, "Well, if everyone was jumping off a building would you?" I KNOW, I KNOW.......Okay, I admit that I broke the rules, but enjoy the pictures!

In the first two you can see "little" Caleb Chapman standing next to his Daddy. He is 18 now and playing with him on tour. He even opened up for him with some of his own songs along with some praise chourses. If you look real hard you can also see "little" Will Franklin on the drums. I can't remember how old he is now, but he is younger than Caleb. I think around 15 or 16. He played the drums for Caleb and his dear ol' Dad last night. I thought it was pretty cool. Carlton laughed and said, "You know you are getting old (in the business) when your son's have grown up and can play in the band for you!"

Ok....that is ALL the pictures I got of the concert! Not too many, not very close, and not that great....ALRIGHT....I will stop trying to rationalize my rule breaking!

Now this last picture, Carlton took it at on of the MANY red lights along this long road to the concert as we were leaving last night. He just thought the "In Yo Face Fashions" was too funny not to capture on film! We laughed and joked about it for a couple blocks!

3's About Me

Saw this on a friend's site and thought I would copy it!

Three Jobs:
Teacher, Block Buster Attendant, Day Care Worker

Three movies I would watch over and over:
You've Got Mail, What About Bob, Sweet Home Alabamma

Three places I have lived:
Belton, Bay City, Hawkins

Three shows that I watch:
American Idol, Law and Order (all of them SVU is my fav.), Rules of Engagement (my list could actually get way too long here!!!)

Three places I have been:
Cozumel, Washington State, Portland OR

Three of my favorite foods:
Anything Mexican, Pizza, Chex Mix

Three places I'd rather be right now:
With my family, at home, at a movie

Three things I am looking forward to this year:
Timothy starts Kindergarten (tears/elation), Daycare expense cut in half!, my friend JK adopting!

Just a Reminder!

This is just a quick reminder that I have one of the best Hubbies in the world. Tomorrow, I am taking the day off from work and we are leaving the kids to be picked up by a sitter, and we are going to Houston to see this man:
He is in Houston on tour and doing a special Valentines Day concert and I get to be a part of that. I am SO excited!!! I can not wait!!! We are going to eat at Landry's before the concert. Carlton says that is his Valentines Day present to himself! He loves that place!

I'll let you all know on Friday how it went. They said no "flash photography" was allowed. I wonder if that means it's okay to bring a camera, just don't use the flash??? I'm sure going to try!

Only God Knows!

Wow......this is one of those posts that I am not sure exactly what to say, or where to start. Right now I am emotionally confused and not exactly sure how to feel. The sentence before this one makes me stop and think, "What the heck?"

You all know I have two wonderful children. Some of you know that I miscarried about a year after I had Rachel. The doctors called that one a "chemical pregnancy". That means there was conception, but nothing much after that. My doctor said that the body senses that something is "wrong" with the embryo and "takes care of it" on it's own. There is not really anything you can do to prevent a chemical pregnancy. Many women don't even know they are pregnant. They just count it as a "late period". But for those of us who KNOW our bodies, and go like clock work, we know when we are late vs. pregnant. For those of us who know are bodies in that way, at the first sign of being late, we run out and get a test, bring it home and take it. And in most cases get that BFP (big fat positive) that we (in our heads) already know will be there. I am (have been) one of those people.

Before I had Timothy, I always thought I was late. Until I did some reading/research and realized that I was one of those people that don't fall into the "norm" and have the "regular" 28 day cycle. My cycle is anywhere from 30 to 33 days. Usually 30, but about every other month it is 33. After I found this out and became more aware of my body, I was able to use this as my method of "birth control". However, there have been two times when I was "off". One being when I had that chemical pregnancy, and one being this past month.

Now before you clue in and start getting all excited that I may be pregnant, let me tell you that this one was also one of those chemical pregnancies. And this is where the confusion of my emotions comes in. You see, I know that God has a purpose for EVERYTHING. I know that He knits everyone together in their mothers womb. I know that He knows us before we are born.

In a "chemical pregnancy" the most common explanation for the miscarriage is that: "Most chemical pregnancies are due to chromosomal problems in the developing fetus. Other possible causes are inadequate uterine lining, uterine abnormalities both congenital or acquired like fibroids, luteal phase defects, low hormone levels, or certain infections. " This is where my confusion lies.

Is God tying to bless me with another child, but the fibroids on my uterus and the fact that my uterus is tipped so far back causing the "chemical pregnancy"? Is it simply "low hormone levels"? If so, should I take B6, rub on the progesterone cream, and chew on some baby asprin so that I can hold on to the blessing that He is trying to give me?

Or is the reason that I have had these two "chemical pregnancies" because there is a chromosomal problem in the developing fetus? They say that this is the most common explanation. If that is the case, then do I take the B6, rub on the cream and chew on that baby asprin (I get teary just typing this), and bring a baby in this world that may or may not have a chromosomal disorder. A baby that may only survive for a short moment or live its life and never even know it lived or live it's whole life and never know there is a chromosome "out of whack".

I also struggle with this..................delaying typing it in here.................. "Why would God start to knit something together only to allow it to "be removed"? This is a question I am sure my dear friends that have lost children, or had trouble having their own child have asked themselves many times. A question that many people ask.

God doesn't make mistakes, right? Then if that is the case, do I take the necessary steps to "not allow" this to happen again? Or do I just continue to let "nature" run it's course? How do I "choose" what God has planned? I can't, only He can do that! I know that this is a very touchy subject. But it is going through my head right now and I need to process it. I'm very conflicted right now!

Compassion International

Shannon over at Rocks In My Dryer and Boggy Giveaways has asked all that know her to place the button for Compassion International on their blogs while she is in Uganda. So I have done so. I did this primarily as a reminder for me to pray for her and her group while they are there, but also if you would like to make a donation to help the children there, then you may do so by clicking the button. It will direct you there.