Just a Reminder!

This is just a quick reminder that I have one of the best Hubbies in the world. Tomorrow, I am taking the day off from work and we are leaving the kids to be picked up by a sitter, and we are going to Houston to see this man:
He is in Houston on tour and doing a special Valentines Day concert and I get to be a part of that. I am SO excited!!! I can not wait!!! We are going to eat at Landry's before the concert. Carlton says that is his Valentines Day present to himself! He loves that place!

I'll let you all know on Friday how it went. They said no "flash photography" was allowed. I wonder if that means it's okay to bring a camera, just don't use the flash??? I'm sure going to try!

Only God Knows!

Wow......this is one of those posts that I am not sure exactly what to say, or where to start. Right now I am emotionally confused and not exactly sure how to feel. The sentence before this one makes me stop and think, "What the heck?"

You all know I have two wonderful children. Some of you know that I miscarried about a year after I had Rachel. The doctors called that one a "chemical pregnancy". That means there was conception, but nothing much after that. My doctor said that the body senses that something is "wrong" with the embryo and "takes care of it" on it's own. There is not really anything you can do to prevent a chemical pregnancy. Many women don't even know they are pregnant. They just count it as a "late period". But for those of us who KNOW our bodies, and go like clock work, we know when we are late vs. pregnant. For those of us who know are bodies in that way, at the first sign of being late, we run out and get a test, bring it home and take it. And in most cases get that BFP (big fat positive) that we (in our heads) already know will be there. I am (have been) one of those people.

Before I had Timothy, I always thought I was late. Until I did some reading/research and realized that I was one of those people that don't fall into the "norm" and have the "regular" 28 day cycle. My cycle is anywhere from 30 to 33 days. Usually 30, but about every other month it is 33. After I found this out and became more aware of my body, I was able to use this as my method of "birth control". However, there have been two times when I was "off". One being when I had that chemical pregnancy, and one being this past month.

Now before you clue in and start getting all excited that I may be pregnant, let me tell you that this one was also one of those chemical pregnancies. And this is where the confusion of my emotions comes in. You see, I know that God has a purpose for EVERYTHING. I know that He knits everyone together in their mothers womb. I know that He knows us before we are born.

In a "chemical pregnancy" the most common explanation for the miscarriage is that: "Most chemical pregnancies are due to chromosomal problems in the developing fetus. Other possible causes are inadequate uterine lining, uterine abnormalities both congenital or acquired like fibroids, luteal phase defects, low hormone levels, or certain infections. " This is where my confusion lies.

Is God tying to bless me with another child, but the fibroids on my uterus and the fact that my uterus is tipped so far back causing the "chemical pregnancy"? Is it simply "low hormone levels"? If so, should I take B6, rub on the progesterone cream, and chew on some baby asprin so that I can hold on to the blessing that He is trying to give me?

Or is the reason that I have had these two "chemical pregnancies" because there is a chromosomal problem in the developing fetus? They say that this is the most common explanation. If that is the case, then do I take the B6, rub on the cream and chew on that baby asprin (I get teary just typing this), and bring a baby in this world that may or may not have a chromosomal disorder. A baby that may only survive for a short moment or live its life and never even know it lived or live it's whole life and never know there is a chromosome "out of whack".

I also struggle with this..................delaying typing it in here.................. "Why would God start to knit something together only to allow it to "be removed"? This is a question I am sure my dear friends that have lost children, or had trouble having their own child have asked themselves many times. A question that many people ask.

God doesn't make mistakes, right? Then if that is the case, do I take the necessary steps to "not allow" this to happen again? Or do I just continue to let "nature" run it's course? How do I "choose" what God has planned? I can't, only He can do that! I know that this is a very touchy subject. But it is going through my head right now and I need to process it. I'm very conflicted right now!

Compassion International

Shannon over at Rocks In My Dryer and Boggy Giveaways has asked all that know her to place the button for Compassion International on their blogs while she is in Uganda. So I have done so. I did this primarily as a reminder for me to pray for her and her group while they are there, but also if you would like to make a donation to help the children there, then you may do so by clicking the button. It will direct you there.

From Soccer to Basketball

Well, soccer has been over for a while now and Timothy has been choppin' at the bit to play something else. SO, we found out that the YMCA for our area had a league that he could play in and that if Carlton coached we got half-price!!! WOOHOO!!! SO, we signed him up.

Carlton had already decided against Little Dribblers since he heard that they were WAY too serious with the 4 and 5 year olds, and he is still too young for Upwards Basketball (through the churches), so the YMCA was the route to take! The practices are on Thursdays for one hour, and the games are on Saturdays at either 9:00 or 10:15. There were only a total of 6 games, so it
is a short season. This weekend will be our 3rd game, so we are half way done!

Here's my little man waiting around.


A little pregame practice. See that ball....it went in! And there is that sexy coach! HeeHee (I can say that since he is MY MAN!!)




Druing the game, Timothy showed off some defensive skills. In one of these pictures his feet are actually a couple inches off the floor!

Here he is getting ready to get a rebound!

Now for this picture, I could see he was about to take a shot, so I got the camera ready, then right as I started to take the picture, Rachel bumped my arm, so I almost missed it. But I still got some of it!

And here he is celebrating his shot!!!!

Great game my little man!

What happened to my "bow head"?

What happened to my precious little "bow head"? I remember when Rachel was about 15 months old............I went to her room because she had gotten really quite in there, and opened the door to this::: I cracked up! She had put on that head band, then actually got a couple of those bows to stick in her hair. She handed that green one up to me as if she wanted me to "put on the finishing touches".

Then she ran off to find more, but all she could find was this purple headband. So we put it on too!

Once we were finished, she was happy! But these days, all she wants to do is "shwoop it back". This is what she tells me when I start to brush it. "No hair pretty's, I just want to shwoop it back!" So now we come out with this::

Still cute, but I sure miss the bows! :)

Baby Shepherd

On my sidebar I added a widget. This widget will send you to a site where you can make a donation to help this family bring home their little China boy Shepherd. Here is their site....go check it out, it is too precious!

A Minstry Friend Has Questions

For those of you who are spouses to someone in the ministry, and those of you not, a blogger friend has some questions for you. Head on over to Mindy's to see if you can help her out. My comment was almost a book, but I had a lot to say about this topic. Actually, I probably could have said much more. Head on over to see if you can help her out!

Just for February!

Jolanthe, a fellow Company Girl, over at No Ordinary Life is hosting "Little Leaps of Love". You can go directly to her site by clicking the button on my side bar.

What do you do??

Show little acts of love and kindness to those around you. NOW is that too much to do?? Not at all. In doing so, you can earn points and there is a prize in the end! You can go here to find out about the prizes.

To me it's not really about the prizes, but more so about using other ways to show some love!

Weight Loss

Ok....as a part of my "new self" I am going to get serious about loosing this weight I am carrying. This time I am not just talking about all the extra emotional baggage either. I am serious about this physical weight I have gained over the past 10 years! I know they say it takes twice as long to get it off as it does to put it on.....BUT for me I don't think that will be the case! I am on a mission!!!

I added a ticker on the side so you can see how I am doing. If you see that it hasn't moved in a while, then I expect you to ask me "WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!!" I am serious..... The hubby and I have both started making it a priority to get to the gym. Our eating habits still need some work, but at least we are getting to the gym. And let me just tell you I HATE THE GYM!!! BUT I am praying that the Lord show me great things there!

Just a side note here: Pray for my feet! (or something) When I ride the stationary bikes or get on the elipticals, within 15 minutes my toes are going numb. Don't know what that's all about, but it is happening. Carlton say's it's just another "excuse not to go", but he also told me to go see a doctor about it too. Anyway, just pray I stay motivated and that all is well with the feet!

Thanks friends!

Some Prayer Needed

Well, I shared with you all yesterday how the Lord was teaching me that without that love relationship with him, then nothing in my life would be right. Well, today I was reading one of the lessons and came across this verse from Philippians:

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and staining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Chirst Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14

The part of that verse that just really jumped out at me was "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead," There is so much in my past that I need to FORGET. Not forget so much as to forget how God brought me through it, but to forget and not cling to it and allow it to "destroy" me. That is exactly what Satan wants. (and it was pointed out to my by my dear hubby this afternoon)

Not that all of these things have happened to me (but a few of them did) but Satan wants us to never forget being hurt by a loved one, being raped at a party you knew you shouldn't have been at, hurting your self or someone you love, having that abortion, having sex before you were married......and the list could go on and on and on.

As long as we hold on to those things, Satan will do his best to use them against us, I know I have been there recently (am there now). But God so loves us that he wants us to forget those things. He wants us to remember how HE brought us through those things so that we can give Him the glory.

I ask for your prayers because there are some things that I really need to "forget"! There are things I need to do to change the way I see myself and others around me. I want to see them and myself through the eyes of my Father in heaven and not with a tainted screen of sin! I will pray for you too. We all need it I'm sure!

Have a great weekend.

DQ